Rural Relocation – Considerations and Adjustments

So you’re thinking about going country? It’s time to abandon the frenzy of city life, drop the ‘G’ from the end of your verbs and trade your Gucci for goats. You long to be in a place where business is done on a handshake, where your backyard is bountiful and where folks welcome you with…

Saddam Hussein Seeks Mcdonald’s Francise

Saddam Hussein, in his latest bid to escape execution for crimes against his own people, has applied to McDonald’s for a franchise. The application is widely regarded as a move by his defense team to convince the court that, if his life is spared, he will be a model citizen in the Iraq of the…

Senate Takes Up Debate On Regular Marriage

The Senate, fresh from its rancorous but indecisive debate on a constitutional amendment that would have banned same-sex marriage, has now taken up debate on an amendment that would ban regular marriage. A leading Republican senator stated, “When you consider how high the divorce rate is, you know there are a lot of unhappy marriages…

Senior Ticked For Walking Too Slow; Others Try Roller Skates

An 82-year-old woman was recently issued a ticket in California for crossing a street too slowly. A police officer, who arrived on a motorcycle, told her she was obstructing traffic – and issued her a summons for $114. Responding to the uproar caused by the curious traffic ticket, the municipality has begun to wonder if…

Senior Ticketed For Walking Too Slow; Others Try Rollerskates

An 82-year-old woman was recently issued a ticket in California for crossing a street too slowly. A police officer, who arrived on a motorcycle, told her she was obstructing traffic – and issued her a summons for $114. Responding to the uproar caused by the curious traffic ticket, the municipality has begun to wonder if…

Sentencia Interruptus: The Texas Pause

I’ve actually never heard anyone talk about this, so it’s up to me to break the news to the world about this phenomenon. It can be a monumental problem, if you don’t know about it, understand it, and adhere to its rule. “It” is, and I believe I’ve aptly named it, Sentencia Interruptus, or commonly…

Sit Back And Remember

Why is it, that any holiday, time off, or event, someone is sick? Do they plan it that way? I was sitting today, pondering, reminissing, and it came to my attention that every function I have ever attended had at least one of my family members sitting with the sniffles. I was 7 years old….

Smoking Gun In Cancer Revealed; It’s The Smoking Throat

OK, smoke fans, the facts are out once again. According to the new and pretty inarguable Cancer Atlas and the updated Tobacco Atlas, which were published by The American Cancer Society, if “Smoky, The Scare” gets his way, tobacco use is projected to kill a billion people in this century. (By the way, wouldn’t it…

Songwriter Confessions #1

Looking up this week from getting a reggae backing to sound like St Ann rather than St Felicity, I spotted the small dark mist in the usual corner behind the left monitor speaker. I have sometimes believed absolutely that this is my best muse, back from a pizza run to the outer starbelt. Or maybe…

Stand Up Comedienne – Gagging For A Joke

What type of person sees the funny side of a joke or gag told by a stand up comedienne, what type of person doubles over with laughter after the punch line of a joke has been delivered? What kind of person is more prone to giggle when watching someone play the fool? Well the answer…